Misleading ADHD symptoms

Well the reason behind this post is, I was nearly close to believing my son exhibited abnormal behavior as early as 3 years. But certain behavior threw me off guard and led me to convince myself that he's normal. I wish to highlight those symptoms which most parents tend to mis-interpret.This is purely based on my personal experience. Hence, please do NOT substitute this information for professional medical advice.

As most readers of this post already know,ADHD has no quantitative metrics for evaluation. So keen observation from your end and others who interact with your child , is needed. Before you head to a child psychologist for evaluation, its better you equip yourself with as much information as possible.If you are a working parent, gather as much feedback as possible from your child's teacher or caretaker.

• How hyper can ADHD children get ?

Most toddlers and kindergarten-going-children have boundless energy and are always on the move. So what is so different about the hyperactivity exhibited by kids having ADHD? Well, the level of energy in them is so high that any task which requires even a minute's idleness is herculean for them. This includes brushing,bathing,grooming and even tucking them to sleep.In some cases like mine,they don't have the patience to even finish his toilet or even walk properly.Even till date, my son will not set his foot fully on the floor while walking.

• Hyperactivity doesn't necessarily mean on-wheels-always

It is true that a dictionary would define the word hyperactivity as above, but ADHD kids don't behave always that way. When my son, stopped his endless running,jumping-and-getting-hurt phase, I was relieved that he isn't hyperactive anymore. But he would instead keep blabbering, talking, fidgeting, biting,scratching etc.Looks like his excess energy was channelized into other activities. 

• How to identify Attention deficiency?

Not many kids enjoy school or atleast the academic part of it.Only a handful of kids do something called as in-class-learning.So most of us would ignore the comment, "your child simply can't pay attention is class" and not even remotely link it to ADHD. While, the above behavior is justifiable,ADHD kids lack attention in any task. If its playing a game, its not likely to last more than 2 minutes.If its watching TV, they will mostly not make it to the end of the programme and they are likely to keep switching between channels. Lest, to say if you are asking them to write, they simply cannot focus on holding a pencil and doing a stroke. I suppose their minds think of 1000's of things at a given point of time and focusing on one task is indeed difficult.

• Amazing memory,talent and creativity

This was THE reason which kept me from going to a pyschologist for an earlier evaluation. My son, exhibited can recall incidents which happened when he was 2.5 years old. He constructed a beautiful theme park which we had visited, using building blocks. Bull dozers, concrete mixers,trucks etc are his favorite. I was surprised to see him make a bull dozer by connecting to of this cars. This led me to wonder, why the hell would anyone call my child 'attention deficit' which he has observed so much and can recall so much. The answer here is, these kids learn a lot on their own, by observation. These are seldom forgotten.But, when told what to do or when expected to follow instructions, they simply cannot concentrate because of their high energy levels.

Now, for all those in a dilemma, I hope this post has thrown some light into the difference between normal and abnormal behavior. Your comments,feedback and experiences are welcome.

Is ADHD real?

Before I begin, please note I am no child psychologist,counsellor,doctor or therapist. I am the mother of a 5 year old who has been diagnosed with ADHD. I am sharing my findings and views , hoping it would serve an eye opener to other desperate parents like me.

Most of you reading this, will be familiar with ADHD or would've atleast heard the term from your paed or psychologist. Your visit to the above might have been triggered by repeated and endless list of complaints from school. You would've googled, read countless posts on the symptoms (which I am not going to mention here) . Its all very confusing because your child is not exhibiting each and everything associated with this disorder. You must still be puzzled as to whether is it a real condition or a psychological jargon used for minting money.

Few things we normally hear from people who contradict ADHD or consider it as humbug:

• Kids usually are hyper active and they get easily bored.
• When we were kids, we always had peers in class who simply wont listen, who were different from the others and of course , were on the brats list. Today ,those kids-turned-adults are leading a super-duper life.
• Kids today are made to read,write and learn earlier and earlier. Why should you really care if a 3 or 4 yr old doesn't want to read/write ? After all you child is intelligent enough to operate an android or IOS device, speak different languages and what not at the age of 3.
• No two kids are alike. Each child has his/her own pace of maturing. Over time things would settle.

the list goes on on on and on..... Now, you begin to think , yes maybe I am over imagining. Maybe I'm micro monitoring my child. I should just leave him on his own instead of whacking my head over it. But there is a lingering doubt in the corner of your head, which simply wont leave whatsoever.

While all the arguments  mentioned above are indeed true, you should stop to think why would a teacher or educator complain about your child alone? She is not likely to harbor bitterness against your kid alone. After all, most of us would be clueless about how kids behave in our absence. So a KG or primary teacher who has been acquainted with 100 different types of children, must be given the benefit of doubt. People who mingle with a spectrum of kids can definitely distinguish between brats and abnormal kids. In fact, you must be all the more grateful to them that they have helped you in identifying something major in your child.

Besides, all research done by learned doctors on ADHD and other behavioral disorders cannot be discarded dumb.After all, their data is based on hell lot of reliable observations which you and me will not have the expertise to judge. Importantly, research indicates that ADHD is on the rise now due to a lot of reasons.

Remember, the reason why your mind wants to believe 'nothing is wrong' is because of the taboo society associates with it. Keywords like therapy,psychology,disorder,autism, autistic behavior etc or raised brow questions like ,"Is your child in a special school?", trigger the image of an asylum. Every human being exhibits some amount of abnormality. Even I speak to myself sometimes, to gain clarity over situations. But if the abnormality is going to interfere with day-to-day life, it calls for special attention. 

So all those parents out there, if your child has been evaluated with some behavioral disorder, accept the fact that "yes my child is different from the others".This realization often comes as a lightning strike on many parents as it was for me. Good news is , with proper and consistent efforts any behavioral disorder can be minimized to almost nil. 

Continue to read my posts on this and do leave your feedback or share your experiences as well.It will make a difference to many.